Waarom stak de kip de straat over?
Dirk Perk, 19 juni 2008
Er bestaan tal van antwoorden op de klassieke filosofische vraag: “Why did the chicken cross the road?” Deze geactualiseerde versie werd me vandaag per e-mail toegestuurd. Ik weet niet wie de auteur is (hier vond ik een variant van deze variant), maar het is wel grappig (al moet je wel een beetje van de Amerikaanse actualiteit en (eet)cultuur kennen).
Question:
*WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?*
Answers:
*BARACK OBAMA*: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a
CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!
*JOHN MC CAIN*: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he
recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the
chickens on the other side of the road.
*HILLARY CLINTON*: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that
little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely
qualified to ensure — right from Day One! — that every chicken in this
country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But
then, this really
isn’t about me…….
*DR. PHIL*: The problem we have here is that this chicken won’t realize
that he must first deal with the problem on “THIS” side of the road
before it goes after the problem on the “OTHER SIDE” of the road.
taking on his “CURRENT” problems before adding “NEW” problems.
*OPRAH*: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which
is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the
chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of
life, I’m going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive
across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
*GEORGE W. BUSH*: We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the
road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road
or not. The chicken is either against us or for us. There is no
middle ground here.
*COLIN POWELL*: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the
satellite image of the chicken crossing the road…
*ANDERSON** COOPER – CNN*: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
*JOHN KERRY*: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am
now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled
about the chicken’s intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain
against it.
*NANCY GRACE*: That chicken crossed the road because he’s GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
*PAT BUCHANAN*: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
*MARTHA STEWART*: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer’s Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave
me any insider information.
*DR SEUSS *: Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I’ve not been
told.
*ERNEST HEMINGWAY*: To die in the rain. Alone.
*JERRY FALWELL*: Because the chicken was gay! Can’t you people see the plain truth? That’s why they call it the “other side.” Yes, my
friends that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will
become gay, too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this
abomination that the liberal media white washes with seemingly
harmless phrases like “the other side.” That chicken should not be
crossing the road. It’s as plain and as simple as that.
*GRANDPA *: In my day we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good
enough.
*BARBARA WALTERS*: Isn’t that interesting?
In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the
first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious
case of molting and went on to accomplish its life long dream of
crossing the road.
*ARISTOTLE*: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
*JOHN LENNON*: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads
together, in peace.
*BILL GATES*: I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only
cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and
balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of
eChicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never
cra…#@ <mailto:cra…#@&&^(C%> &&^(C% ……… reboot.
*ALBERT EINSTEIN*: Did the chicken really cross
the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?
*BILL CLINTON*: I did not cross the road with THAT
chicken!…… What is your definition of chicken?
*AL** GORE*: I invented the chicken!
*COLONEL SANDERS*: Did I miss one?
*DICK CHENEY*: Where’s my gun?
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